Planning the Birthday Party

Aidan is turning 7 years old this month. I wavered back and forth about throwing him a party. I am just not really sure how the children in his class really perceive Aidan. Maybe they're thinking...how fun can a party for a kid in a wheelchair be? But, a friend convinced me that it would be a good thing to do to help develop his friendships with his classmates. She said the kinder year is the best time to foster those friendships. So...I decided to have the party. I planned for it to be at our HOA's clubhouse playground. Since the playground is mostly sandy, and wheelchairs just don't do well on sand, I've planned for a jumper with a slide so that Aidan could bounce and slide and enjoy as well. I'm also having a glitter tattoo artist. It's something different I think the kids will like. I invited Aidan's entire class - 20 kids and a few other non-school friends. The invitations went out and slowly, the RSVPs came in day after day and...to my surprise....nearly every kid in his class is coming to the party!? Since it's the Saturday start of Spring Break, I thought some families would be going out of town...But, about 75% of his class is coming??! I also tried to simplify things for parents by requesting, "No Gifts, Please." I kind of thought that since most of the parents probably have heard about Aidan from their children, they should know that his independent playing abilities are rather limited, so they wouldn't know what kind of toy would be an appropriate gift. Thus, I didn't want parents to worry about it. However, 2 very kind and thoughtful moms did email me and told me they really wanted to bring Aidan something and asked my advice on what would be appropriate. One mom told me that her son, who actually shares the same birthdate as Aidan, told her that my Aidan liked books. I told her that her son was absolutely right! I was a little blown away! I was surprised that her son had gotten to know Aidan well enough to know that he enjoyed books. Aidan's likes and dislikes can sometimes only be obvious to those that care to speak to him one-to-one. Although Aidan's smile is very telling and you can definitely see that from across the room. Or perhaps I am underestimating the kindness and perceptiveness of a 6 year old. However, I have seen her son interact with Aidan and he is definitely very sweet and kind. His mom and I exchanged several emails about jointly celebrating our sons' birthdays in the class. Apparently, her son knew that Aidan got all his nutrition in liquid form via his g-tube, however, she wondered if he might be able to enjoy a cupcake which is what she was planning to bring to celebrate the birthdays in class. I informed her that, like most kids, he enjoys the frosting...especially chocolate frosting. She seemed thrilled about bringing a chocolate cupcake for him to enjoy. I was really so happy that I had such a pleasant exchange with this other mom. Maybe we can find a place to fit in around here? But...now that all these kids and parents are coming to Aidan's birthday party, I am feeling a little pressure to make it great! So far...according to Ms. T, Aidan's party has been the talk of the class. All the kids are saying, "I wanna go to Aidan's party," "I'm gonna go to Aidan's party!" Even the kids in the classroom next door are hearing about it. I'm a little amazed that so many of the kids are coming. Maybe they just want to go to a party, any party...Maybe they or their parents are a little curious...Whatever it is, I have my fingers crossed that it'll turn out well! My secret hope is that maybe it will be that one thing, that one common experience that these kids will have with which to bond with Aidan, and that it will stay with them and link them as friends to carry on in their future school years. Am I hoping for too much?

The Crazy Cutbacks

With the California state budget on the verge of bankruptcy, the effects were bound to deeply impact the public school system. The school district is being forced to make drastic, very difficult and probably bad budget cuts. So far, Aidan's school has gotten by ok, with a lot of help from the active parents that support the school by volunteering, fundraising and monetary contributions. But... the cuts are now starting to kick in. Aidan's aide, Ms. T, is being forced to take furlough days (no work, no pay) of one day per month for the remainder of the school year. Since she is under the Special Education umbrella, it is a separate pot of money and since she has been with the district for over 15 years, she feels confident that her job is still relatively secure. I sure hope so! I'd like her to stay with Aidan for a long long time. Aidan has two teachers that job-share the week. One of his teachers, Mrs. B, is one of the least senior teachers at the school, and has already been given her walking papers. So sad. I think she's a pretty good teacher. The principal has already said that he will likely have to cut more teachers from the school. All this means larger class size, a poor learning environment, and more pressure on teachers to get more done in less time. It is so tragic and detrimental! The cuts in education that I've heard happening around the state and in other parts of the country are just ludicrous. Upper grades have upwards of 40 kids per class. They are cutting school days to save money. Aidan's principal mentioned the possibility of school ending 5 days early. He was also talking about Kindergarten classes having 28 kids with no assistant! 28 5-year olds with 1 adult?! That sounds disastrous! In another state, I heard they were considering eliminating the 12th grade?!! What??!! Are they crazy?!
I am sure some very good, highly-motivated teachers are losing their jobs because they don't have seniority or tenure. Meanwhile many tired, burned-out, well-paid teachers are getting to keep their jobs just because they have been at the job longer. That does not make any sense to me. A little while ago, there was a long article in the LA Times about how hard it was to fire problematic teachers in the Los Angeles Unified School District. Even a teacher that's had numerous formal complaints against him. That problematic teacher just ended up changing schools.
When I was in the corporate world, we had 360 degree evaluations - superiors, subordinates, and peers gave feedback each year when it was evaluation time. Just like students are given report cards and take standardized tests to measure their academic knowledge, I think teachers should be graded and get report cards. I think it would be interesting if there was some way for parents and possibly students to "grade" their teachers. And maybe these teachers' report cards could be made public for everyone to read, like the parent reviews on greatschools.net. Maybe this type of exposure and transparency would motivate teachers to do their best and serve their students right?
I am a proud product of public education and I think it absolutely can be a good thing. But admittedly, my high school had some bad teachers. My high school math teacher was truly a joke! He was the only one that taught high level math - Trigonometry and Calculus. But he couldn't get through a class without being corrected by one of his students for doing a math problem on the board incorrectly! That same teacher also had a reputation for arranging his seating chart so that the cheerleaders and attractive girls would sit at the front of the class, close to him. He taught there for a long long time but never really changed his ways. I also had a pretty lousy Chemistry teacher too. He must have been about 70 years old or something and probably taught for most of his life. When I had him as a teacher, he would give out a test, then leave the classroom, and of course when you turn your back on a classroom full of kids, they would all horse around, and cheat off of each other. Then when he came back in the room, of course, we were all angels and he was completely clueless to it all. Kind of a joke class. I can't say I learned much about Chemistry from him. I also had another high school teacher tell me not to bother to go to college, since I was a girl, I should just marry rich!? Excuse me? Did that just come out of your mouth?Needless to say, while I survived and did alright, I wouldn't dare send my own children to the public schools that I went to.
It's all such a shame. I don't know what the solution for the budget problem is, but I don't want to be around when the effects of a poor or non-existent education catches up to us in society.

They are seeing the light...

Last month, I had my first parent-teacher conference with Aidan's teacher, Ms. S. She told me how she and Ms. B. were happy to have Aidan be a part of their class...As she said, They loved having him, and The kids loved having him in the class, They miss him when he's not there, etc. I was very pleased and relieved to hear these sentiments. However, she admittedly said that they were not sure how to approach Aidan's Report Card. I told her frankly, that I wasn't so sure for them either. Given Aidan's disabilities, it would seem unfair to me to judge him on, e.g., penmanship...given the fact that he has trouble with just grasping a pencil independently. So Ms. S left the report card rather incomplete. She had said that her and Ms. B were very concerned about "doing right by him." Since they were general ed teachers, they felt like they lacked the familiarity with how to rightfully judge him in this special situation. She stated that they were going to confer more with Miss L, the Inclusion Facilitator, so that they could be fair to Aidan and judge him appropriately.
Thus, in our next Inclusion Team Meeting, the subject of the Report Card was my first question to Miss L. She explained to me that the Report Card, for the most part, does not apply to Aidan, since he is a special ed case. His progress and assessments are based on his IEP (Individualized Educational program) goals, which also include academic and social goals. Miss L would be the one to suggest, adjust, and revise the academic and social goals for his IEP. Even though Aidan won't necessarily be measured by the standard kindergarteners' academic curriculum, Miss L said she would adapt the curriculum and assess Aidan with it to see where he stood academically. Miss L informed me that she had already done some assessments and has concluded that Aidan knew all his letters, phonetic sounds and colors. I knew Aidan knew these things, but I am so glad someone else was able to see that he knew them too! Nothing makes me happier and more proud than when outsiders are able to see the bright shining light in my little Aidan. Though he says very little, he listens and absorbs everything around him. Yes, he is a smart cookie and has a beaming personality with a sense of humor beyond his age. I was tickled when a classmate's mom told me while we were volunteering in the classroom, that she loved Aidan's sense of humor. I found that quite interesting particularly because she does not spend that much time in the classroom but apparently had enough time still to appreciate his sense of humor. I am so glad that they are seeing the light.

Lake Tahoe Ski Adventure

Check out the video of Aidan doing his adaptive ski lesson at Lake Tahoe in January.

Have you ever done the Half-Pipe? Aidan has! Check it out. Our motto is...No Boundaries!

"I have a dream.."

Returning from the winter break, Ms. T told me she had to take that first week off to stay home to care for an ill family member. She told me that the district would send a licensed vocational nurse to be with Aidan at school, but I declined it and chose to accompany Aidan to school myself.

It actually turned out really good for me to spend those days with Aidan at school because, I got to talk to his therapists and see what it is they work on. It was also good for me because I got to see Mrs. B and Mrs. S teaching on their respective days. From what I saw, it seems like the teachers are getting into the groove of including Aidan and treating him as one of the kids. When Mrs. S reviewed the sight words with the class and called on students one-by-one, she even paused and asked me about Aidan and his computer. Miss L, the Inclusion Facilitator, had input all the sight words on his Dynavox, and on those types of activities, Aidan uses the Dynavox to participate. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to bring his Dynavox to school that day. Ugh!

I also got to see Miss L in action too. I can't say enough good things about her! She worked with us during Science. I followed her lead. Since the science teacher had the kids stay on the rug in little groups, Miss L took Aidan out of his wheelchair and sat with him on the rug with the kids. The science teacher talked to the kids about paper and had them touch and feel different types of paper - tissue, corrugate, cardboard, etc. Miss L sat with Aidan in her lap on the floor and helped Aidan to touch and feel each of the papers. It was so pleasing to see! Aidan was attentive and engaged. While they were in Science, I had to step away for 15 minutes, and when I got back, Miss L had Aidan in his gait trainer out with the kids at recess. I was so impressed! Apparently, she feels comfortable managing him with transfers and handling his body. Not many people do. And because Miss L is not a therapist, and surely, Aidan is more physically involved than the other children she's worked with, it's even more impressive. Her presence has truly made a world of difference for Aidan's school experience. I'm going to have to say, "I heart my Inclusion Facilitator!"

Interesting because Mrs. S told me that Aidan is like "Charlie" of Charlie's Angels. Apparently, he has a few kids that are his "angels" - his helper buddies. So when they do table time activities Mrs. S seats Aidan with his "angels." I think that is very sweet and thoughtful of her to do so.

Because it was the second week of January, and the Martin Luther King Holiday was coming up, Mrs. S read a book about MLK to the class and taught the children a little bit about MLK and how he was famous because he fought hard to end segregation of Whites and Blacks. Mrs. S asked the class and gave parallels if they could imagine a world where people were separated by the color of their skin. She gave examples of how people should accept differences. In my mind, I thought this was a great opportunity for her to use Aidan as an example for them accepting him even though he's different. But, I realized that Mrs. S was probably more wise not to single him out publicly. It was probably more politically correct to not mention it.

So Mrs. S created a class activity inspired by MLK's "I have a dream..." speech. She gave the kids paper clouds and directed the class to think about a dream that they have about the future and draw it out on their cloud. Though, she caveated that the dream could not be superficial and about material goods, like... wishing for a new Transformer toy, etc. She wanted the children to think about their own dream of something that would help people. Kids raised their hands with examples that their dream was: "... to not fight with their sibling any more," or "to clean up their room," or "to recycle more." When we got to the tables to do the activity, the kids were quietly doing their drawings on their cloud. I talked about it with Aidan and since it was going to be difficult to do it hand-over-hand with him, I started to draw it out for him. Although, I felt a little inadequate because my drawing skills are so poor. One of his "angels" asked me, "What's Aidan's dream?" I told her that Aidan's dream is that one day he will be able to run around and play his brother and his friends. She smiled and said, "That's a good dream."

It was strange though because when I showed Aidan the drawing and described it to him, he seemed to get a little sad. A little sad, upturned lower lip came over his face. I wondered if perhaps, it made him sad to think of not being able to do such things? Maybe he wishes it to be so much that it makes him sad that he can't? I can't know for sure, but I think that may explain some of his reaction. Aidan frequently amazes me at how much he does know. Sometimes its difficult to tell, but he is usually quite expressive with his emotions.