A Joyous 7th Birthday

Despite being a little on the windy side, I couldn't have asked for a better day for Aidan's birthday party. It was sunny and beautiful. The party site, our HOA's clubhouse playground, was perfect too. They've got a big playground with structures, slides, sandbox, and swings and a huge grassy area with picnic tables. I also rented a jumper and hired a glitter tattoo artist- something novel and cool, that the kids ooh and aah about. And for some reason I decided to bake my own cupcakes...about 50 of them, frosted and decorated myself. I stayed up til 1am the night before finishing them off. Secretly, I harbour a certain sense of pride and satisfaction in saying, "I made them!"

Out of the 20 classmates and 2-3 kids from the kinder class next door that were invited, about 80% of the kids showed up!? It was an amazing turnout! And while I did state on the invitation "No Gifts," many still felt compelled to bring something. However, the gifts that were brought were all very appropriate for Aidan to enjoy. Some gifts were balloons, home-made cards, books, DVDs, and flowers. It was truly sweet to see each of the kids arrive and greet and give their birthday wishes and gifts to Aidan.

The glitter tattoo artist was a hit. Every kid at the party got a glitter tattoo of their choice. And all of them seemed to proudly show off their tattoos. The jumper was also a huge hit. I had no idea that these giant inflatable bouncers could provide such immeasurable, tireless entertainment for children?! I've witnessed my own Connor find pure adrenaline-filled joy jumping and sliding and climbing repeatedly over and over and over. If allowed, I think these kids could just spend hours on-end in and out of the jumper. I also put out some foam crowns and tiaras for the kids to decorate. It was quite funny when a few of the boys decorated tiaras for themselves. But at that young age...who cares, right? I don't think the boys even knew the difference. Later, I gathered everyone together for the cupcakes and song. I told the kids, "Let's sing Happy Birthday to Aidan like you did in class!" And in complete unison, all the kids started singing...Aidan's least favorite song..."Happy Birthday to you...Cha-Cha-Cha!" I was so glad to see the kids so gleefully singing to my Aidan, while simultaneously worried that Aidan would start tearfully bawling at this happy occasion. Since Aidan was young, he never liked the "Happy Birthday" song. When we'd be in restaurants and the table next to our's would sing Happy Birthday, he would cringe and tense up and the pouty lower lip would come out and when the song was over, he would start bawling. The song, coupled with the loud cheering and clapping afterwards, just triggers an unhappy, terrified reaction in him. But, luckily at the party, one of his older buddy friends rapped and told jokes in his ear to distract him from the song. Aidan usually does not like to be center of attention, which is the complete opposite of Connor. But, Aidan did quite well on his special day.

After the cupcakes, I got Aidan into the jumper. While I was nearly sinking in the jumper, trying to shield Aidan from all the jumping, romping kids, they all started to chant, "AI-DAN, AI-DAN, AI-DAN!" It was very cute and amusing. Aidan got a kick out of it.

Overall, the party turned out really, really great. I am so glad that I had the party for Aidan. There have been so few occasions in his young life where he has been center of attention for a positive, joyous reason. I'm glad he got that experience. He truly enjoyed himself and loved celebrating his birthday with everyone. Aidan was so happy that when the party was over and the kids started to leave and say Goodbye to him, he got very sad. He's an extremely sensitive, wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve kind of guy.

I learned several things from having this birthday party for Aidan; 1) His classmates are really appreciating, accepting and liking who Aidan is; 2) If a parent chooses to drop-off their child at your party, they must designate another parent to monitor their child, and also get the parent to leave a cell phone number. One parent decided to leave her child unmonitored at the party and also showed up late to pick him up! And...her child was not the type that should be left unmonitored. Why would any responsible parent drop-off their 6 year old child at a stranger's party at a big, open, uncontrolled playground?!

3) I'm going to have to be the one to break the ice with some of these parents. Some of them seem very nice, but I think they just don't know what to say to me. Maybe because I am a parent of a special needs child, they feel like they would have nothing in common with me? Granted, as the party host, I didn't spend much time chatting with anybody. Nonetheless, I am determined to break the ice...one of these days.

Planning the Birthday Party

Aidan is turning 7 years old this month. I wavered back and forth about throwing him a party. I am just not really sure how the children in his class really perceive Aidan. Maybe they're thinking...how fun can a party for a kid in a wheelchair be? But, a friend convinced me that it would be a good thing to do to help develop his friendships with his classmates. She said the kinder year is the best time to foster those friendships. So...I decided to have the party. I planned for it to be at our HOA's clubhouse playground. Since the playground is mostly sandy, and wheelchairs just don't do well on sand, I've planned for a jumper with a slide so that Aidan could bounce and slide and enjoy as well. I'm also having a glitter tattoo artist. It's something different I think the kids will like. I invited Aidan's entire class - 20 kids and a few other non-school friends. The invitations went out and slowly, the RSVPs came in day after day and...to my surprise....nearly every kid in his class is coming to the party!? Since it's the Saturday start of Spring Break, I thought some families would be going out of town...But, about 75% of his class is coming??! I also tried to simplify things for parents by requesting, "No Gifts, Please." I kind of thought that since most of the parents probably have heard about Aidan from their children, they should know that his independent playing abilities are rather limited, so they wouldn't know what kind of toy would be an appropriate gift. Thus, I didn't want parents to worry about it. However, 2 very kind and thoughtful moms did email me and told me they really wanted to bring Aidan something and asked my advice on what would be appropriate. One mom told me that her son, who actually shares the same birthdate as Aidan, told her that my Aidan liked books. I told her that her son was absolutely right! I was a little blown away! I was surprised that her son had gotten to know Aidan well enough to know that he enjoyed books. Aidan's likes and dislikes can sometimes only be obvious to those that care to speak to him one-to-one. Although Aidan's smile is very telling and you can definitely see that from across the room. Or perhaps I am underestimating the kindness and perceptiveness of a 6 year old. However, I have seen her son interact with Aidan and he is definitely very sweet and kind. His mom and I exchanged several emails about jointly celebrating our sons' birthdays in the class. Apparently, her son knew that Aidan got all his nutrition in liquid form via his g-tube, however, she wondered if he might be able to enjoy a cupcake which is what she was planning to bring to celebrate the birthdays in class. I informed her that, like most kids, he enjoys the frosting...especially chocolate frosting. She seemed thrilled about bringing a chocolate cupcake for him to enjoy. I was really so happy that I had such a pleasant exchange with this other mom. Maybe we can find a place to fit in around here? But...now that all these kids and parents are coming to Aidan's birthday party, I am feeling a little pressure to make it great! So far...according to Ms. T, Aidan's party has been the talk of the class. All the kids are saying, "I wanna go to Aidan's party," "I'm gonna go to Aidan's party!" Even the kids in the classroom next door are hearing about it. I'm a little amazed that so many of the kids are coming. Maybe they just want to go to a party, any party...Maybe they or their parents are a little curious...Whatever it is, I have my fingers crossed that it'll turn out well! My secret hope is that maybe it will be that one thing, that one common experience that these kids will have with which to bond with Aidan, and that it will stay with them and link them as friends to carry on in their future school years. Am I hoping for too much?

The Crazy Cutbacks

With the California state budget on the verge of bankruptcy, the effects were bound to deeply impact the public school system. The school district is being forced to make drastic, very difficult and probably bad budget cuts. So far, Aidan's school has gotten by ok, with a lot of help from the active parents that support the school by volunteering, fundraising and monetary contributions. But... the cuts are now starting to kick in. Aidan's aide, Ms. T, is being forced to take furlough days (no work, no pay) of one day per month for the remainder of the school year. Since she is under the Special Education umbrella, it is a separate pot of money and since she has been with the district for over 15 years, she feels confident that her job is still relatively secure. I sure hope so! I'd like her to stay with Aidan for a long long time. Aidan has two teachers that job-share the week. One of his teachers, Mrs. B, is one of the least senior teachers at the school, and has already been given her walking papers. So sad. I think she's a pretty good teacher. The principal has already said that he will likely have to cut more teachers from the school. All this means larger class size, a poor learning environment, and more pressure on teachers to get more done in less time. It is so tragic and detrimental! The cuts in education that I've heard happening around the state and in other parts of the country are just ludicrous. Upper grades have upwards of 40 kids per class. They are cutting school days to save money. Aidan's principal mentioned the possibility of school ending 5 days early. He was also talking about Kindergarten classes having 28 kids with no assistant! 28 5-year olds with 1 adult?! That sounds disastrous! In another state, I heard they were considering eliminating the 12th grade?!! What??!! Are they crazy?!
I am sure some very good, highly-motivated teachers are losing their jobs because they don't have seniority or tenure. Meanwhile many tired, burned-out, well-paid teachers are getting to keep their jobs just because they have been at the job longer. That does not make any sense to me. A little while ago, there was a long article in the LA Times about how hard it was to fire problematic teachers in the Los Angeles Unified School District. Even a teacher that's had numerous formal complaints against him. That problematic teacher just ended up changing schools.
When I was in the corporate world, we had 360 degree evaluations - superiors, subordinates, and peers gave feedback each year when it was evaluation time. Just like students are given report cards and take standardized tests to measure their academic knowledge, I think teachers should be graded and get report cards. I think it would be interesting if there was some way for parents and possibly students to "grade" their teachers. And maybe these teachers' report cards could be made public for everyone to read, like the parent reviews on greatschools.net. Maybe this type of exposure and transparency would motivate teachers to do their best and serve their students right?
I am a proud product of public education and I think it absolutely can be a good thing. But admittedly, my high school had some bad teachers. My high school math teacher was truly a joke! He was the only one that taught high level math - Trigonometry and Calculus. But he couldn't get through a class without being corrected by one of his students for doing a math problem on the board incorrectly! That same teacher also had a reputation for arranging his seating chart so that the cheerleaders and attractive girls would sit at the front of the class, close to him. He taught there for a long long time but never really changed his ways. I also had a pretty lousy Chemistry teacher too. He must have been about 70 years old or something and probably taught for most of his life. When I had him as a teacher, he would give out a test, then leave the classroom, and of course when you turn your back on a classroom full of kids, they would all horse around, and cheat off of each other. Then when he came back in the room, of course, we were all angels and he was completely clueless to it all. Kind of a joke class. I can't say I learned much about Chemistry from him. I also had another high school teacher tell me not to bother to go to college, since I was a girl, I should just marry rich!? Excuse me? Did that just come out of your mouth?Needless to say, while I survived and did alright, I wouldn't dare send my own children to the public schools that I went to.
It's all such a shame. I don't know what the solution for the budget problem is, but I don't want to be around when the effects of a poor or non-existent education catches up to us in society.

They are seeing the light...

Last month, I had my first parent-teacher conference with Aidan's teacher, Ms. S. She told me how she and Ms. B. were happy to have Aidan be a part of their class...As she said, They loved having him, and The kids loved having him in the class, They miss him when he's not there, etc. I was very pleased and relieved to hear these sentiments. However, she admittedly said that they were not sure how to approach Aidan's Report Card. I told her frankly, that I wasn't so sure for them either. Given Aidan's disabilities, it would seem unfair to me to judge him on, e.g., penmanship...given the fact that he has trouble with just grasping a pencil independently. So Ms. S left the report card rather incomplete. She had said that her and Ms. B were very concerned about "doing right by him." Since they were general ed teachers, they felt like they lacked the familiarity with how to rightfully judge him in this special situation. She stated that they were going to confer more with Miss L, the Inclusion Facilitator, so that they could be fair to Aidan and judge him appropriately.
Thus, in our next Inclusion Team Meeting, the subject of the Report Card was my first question to Miss L. She explained to me that the Report Card, for the most part, does not apply to Aidan, since he is a special ed case. His progress and assessments are based on his IEP (Individualized Educational program) goals, which also include academic and social goals. Miss L would be the one to suggest, adjust, and revise the academic and social goals for his IEP. Even though Aidan won't necessarily be measured by the standard kindergarteners' academic curriculum, Miss L said she would adapt the curriculum and assess Aidan with it to see where he stood academically. Miss L informed me that she had already done some assessments and has concluded that Aidan knew all his letters, phonetic sounds and colors. I knew Aidan knew these things, but I am so glad someone else was able to see that he knew them too! Nothing makes me happier and more proud than when outsiders are able to see the bright shining light in my little Aidan. Though he says very little, he listens and absorbs everything around him. Yes, he is a smart cookie and has a beaming personality with a sense of humor beyond his age. I was tickled when a classmate's mom told me while we were volunteering in the classroom, that she loved Aidan's sense of humor. I found that quite interesting particularly because she does not spend that much time in the classroom but apparently had enough time still to appreciate his sense of humor. I am so glad that they are seeing the light.

Lake Tahoe Ski Adventure

Check out the video of Aidan doing his adaptive ski lesson at Lake Tahoe in January.

Have you ever done the Half-Pipe? Aidan has! Check it out. Our motto is...No Boundaries!